I've debated for a while whether or not to write this post. On the one hand, people have said, "Explain..." and yet I am aware of how very weird I already seem to the average Joe without adding fuel to that bizarre fire. But I am just going to throw this out there, not so that more of you can say, "Wow, she is much more freakish than I ever thought possible" but for the purpose of sharing information with perhaps one interested person.
So, class, my topic for today is: Exclusive Nursing or Delaying Solid Food. (Why do I feel like Gideon? Oh, because most of you just left...)
Let me establish a few things: I do not feel so strongly that this is the only way (or the only right way) of feeding your baby. This should be obvious, but it needs to be said. I am not out to proselytize anyone and this isn't my new cause. I cringe when I read the websites that talk about how if you *really* want to nurture your baby you will _________ . That is the joy of walking in the freedom we have in the Lord to do whatever we think is best for our children, and do it with confidence. We know the Holy Spirit will lead us and somehow, it will be just what our children need. It's really a miracle! Praise the Lord for the grace He gives in spite of feeble parents like those my children have.
So now that I have qualified away this post, here's why I think it's important to write this: I never knew it was even a possibility to nurse my baby exclusively for an extended period of time until a friend mentioned she was doing it. Never crossed my mind. I've made some pretty major "natural choices" (e.g., had all three babies at home) and yet I never thought twice about just doing exactly whatever the average pediatrician might recommend. I have nursed my babies for about 6 months, give or take, introduced solids slowly, made all my own baby food, weaned by 12 months (got pregnant again...oh wait, I don't think that's in the literature). Is there another way?
But Sweet A was sensitive to most foods until she outgrew those sensitivities at around 16 months. She couldn't eat wheat, soy, corn, (corn is in almost EVERY processed food), bananas, most fruits, or any green or orange veggie without getting a huge blistering rash that looked like she had been burned on her bum. It was awful...she was irritable, and she was a really sweet baby up until about 8 months; I have wondered if her stomach was just killing her. We'll never know. I don't have any family history of food allergies, so I was kind of surprised to go through this with her, but we did our best, made rice pasta, couldn't eat out anywhere with her, and she just ate a lot of chicken, apples, and rice. When I weaned her around a year she still had no teeth.
So when Baby T came along and we discovered he was extremely sensitive to cow's milk- rash on the face whenever I had any dairy products, projectile vomiting, irritability- I cut out all dairy. I started thinking toward the future when we would introduce foods, and I dreaded it. I also started researching what doctors across the board were saying about delaying solid food and what the standards and customs are in other countries. Why do we do things the way we do here in America? Nursing is much more acceptable today than it was 20 (or 40!) years ago, but I've been surprised by how many people have questioned this choice. I think it is just a sign of how steeped we are in the "norm" and we don't even know why the norm is the way it is or how we got here.
So after talking with a few mothers who were very encouraging, and reading a ton of information, some from *real* doctors who were saying that if there is any history of allergies the suggestion is to wait until 9-12 months before introducing solids, we decided to try to commit to exclusive nursing until Baby T was a year old. This was, of course, presuming he continued to gain weight well and hit all the standard developmental milestones. Baby T is 10 months old today and he's 21 lbs. so I think we're fine on that front. And apart from a really bad haircut I gave him last night, he looks normal to me. Here he is on Coop's birthday last month:

I have found that continuing to nurse has been easier, not more difficult. I nurse him every three hours and six times a day. He goes to bed around 6:30pm and wakes up about 12 hours later, with the exception of the one time I wake him up for a feeding right before we go to bed. Most of the time, we've really enjoyed having some one-on-one time with him at that later hour (sometimes I do wish I could go straight to bed...true confessions).
I will say that nursing exclusively has been more than just a lifestyle change: it's changed the way I look at my mothering. I've had to give up my expectations for always following a strict schedule (although we still have it and do our best!) and view of being able to control my days- of having to have a set expectation of what my baby will do (and my response). Since I really don't know if he's extra hungry on any particular day, I can't say, "Sorry but you will have to wait until your next meal" like I would probably do if I knew he'd had a huge lunch and I'd nursed him. So I've had to learn to be more flexible and not get uptight about adjusting to his needs. My husband has been VERY supportive and thankfully, we are slowly mellowing out as parents so what would have bothered us with Baby #1 is a non-issue now. :)
I think we are on track to wait until Baby T turns one to introduce solids. (What will he have to eat on his first birthday? Hmmm, haven't thought that far ahead.) I was aiming for at least 9 months, and every day past that is just a plus. If he seems like he needs to eat we'll be flexible on that end as well.
So there you have it. A few of you asked. Most of you would rather not know (but to you I say, If you've read this far, you have no one to blame but yourself). :)
16 comments:
Oh isn't it so true about Baby 1 and Baby 3. I just chuckle at my Baby 1 self and bless her heart.
Both my girls didn't eat hardly any solids till 8 and 9 months. I thought it was far easier to just nurse, that's what they wanted and no prep required. We've never had to deal with food sensitivities, though. It seemed reasonable to wait until they were actually interested in food rather than shoving it down their throats.
1st birthday?! LET HIM EAT CAKE! LOL.
(Make it vegan.) :)
Oh, I wish I would have thought about this with Josie. She, however, was not gaining well and my doctor told me to nurse her more, and not give her food. I tried to do that but I didn't have great results but I am sure that a lot of that was that I was stressed out and probably not eating as well as I could have! But I did nurse her longer than the others and she only has one food to avoid while the others have more!
i have been waiting for this post ever since you mentioned it in a previous post. so, thanks! i am only on baby 1, and completely overwhelmed at all the decisions, and all the advice (both solicited and unsolicited). i had planned to nurse exclusively until at least 6 mos if all went well, but after some recent reading, i was starting to question if i should continue it longer. i'm glad to hear that it's going so well for you, and we'll just have to see how things go for us. but again, thanks for sharing! :)
BRITE!!!!! No way are you now a mom of THREE!!!!! I still remember when you were a sweet big sister homeschooling your younger siblings. Has time ever flown!
So glad you popped back in to the FIAR boards so we could find you again.
Let's stay in touch! I've thought about you often and wondered where you were and how you were doing.
Love you!
Elysa Mac
brite, you are awesome. stop thinking people don't think that. we all do. praise the Lord!
Fantastic post Brite! You know I love it! And it worked great for our Siley too!
btw, your gracious example is such a blessing to me. i am so grateful.
It was on my third baby, Millie, that I decided to breastfeed exclusively for a year. I tried to do that with all of my babies thereafter. Personally I found it easier and less messy and diapers didn't have that atrocious...shall we say "smell" to them.
Practically, however, I ran into difficulty on baby #4, Christopher. when I got pregnant when he was just 7 months old. He began to lose weight and my milk disappeared completely...I had to introduce solids. The same thing happened with Sarah when she was 9 months old...but I tried, I really tried, to do what you are attempting...I think it is GREAT!
Cool blog post! My little dude is nine months and "almost" exclusively breastfeeds. Hee, hee. Little Dude doesn't like most babyfoods (he loves sweet potatoes and baby mum-mums (they are gluten free rice crackers)though. I am pretty laid back about him eating solids (he doesn't eat much except at dinner time). He is such a good nurser that I hope to continue to breastfeed him until after he turns one.
And your baby T looks so healthy- I think you made a great descision to ebf him.
I'm so glad you posted this. You've definitely inspired me...especially after seeing how chunky and happy baby T is. Chris didn't get teeth as well until after a year.
I think the more kids you have the more precious those nursing times become. I will definitely put this into practice with #4.
Moriah- too funny. Bless all our hearts! ;-) We'll probably skip the cake and just go straight to presents. He has eaten a lot of paper already, so I guess he isn't ebf.
Allison- you know you inspire me! :) Eternal thanks for your influence and advice!
Jonesey- you can't look back, and I do wonder if there are rare cases when it isn't the best thing for the baby. My sister's son really got to the point where he needed some supplementation, and I'm really glad she did it! He's finally chunking up. :)
Bethany- I'm not sure how things would change if I got pregnant early...I stopped nursing A when she was 11 mos. because I was pregnant. My supply was fine but I was throwing up all the time- that was too much for me. I didn't realize yours were so close.
Michelle- I've always counted down the days until I wean, but not anymore. I'm not sure why it seemed like such a big thing to get rid of back then... I need to see some current pics of your little guy!
That's so neat! Thanks for sharing, I was curious! I would have loved to have ebf Liam for longer, but my supply dropped dramatically after about 5 months and despite all of my attempts, couldn't pick it back up again... thus introduction of solids. Maybe this baby will be different? We'll see!
Brite, maybe you are a weirdo, but it looks like everyone who reads your blog is one too :) as far as teeth, my #1 is still in utero, but Jared Craven is about 10 months old and has at least 4 teeth. He never was bf as far as I know, because of his mom's health problems. But he's a chunk (just like his dad?? i didn't say that), and has been eating some solids since the beginning of the summer.
Thanks for writing this...I don't think I had ever really thought about it before, but I am definitely interested now that #3 is on the way!
WEll, I guess I should comment too- all my friends are doing it. My problem has always been that at about five months, my boys start waking up in the night again after a few months of sleeping straight through, and they are starving! They scarf down anything extra I can give them besides breast milk- maybe it is low in calories- it shouldn't be, I certainly eat enough. It has been the same way with all three of them and I have never had the food allergy problem soo...
But more power to ya.
This is a great post, Brite! One thing I want to say is Enjoy Nursing your Precious Babies -- it won't last forever! That is one of the things I really miss about growing older -- not having a sweet baby to nurse!
I had different experiences with my different children. Some babies needed solids earlier (think Taylor!!!!) and some were content to delay until about 9 months. I never made it to a year on breast milk only - but I did have some hefty kids! :) One time I got pregnant at about six months, and my milk immediately dried up. That was sad, as I had to give that poor baby formula, which I hated on several fronts, but obviously, he survived! (However, sadly, that pregnancy did not.)
I have read that the best time to begin to introduce solid food is when the baby gets teeth, as they are unable to properly digetst solids before that point. If that is true, the "perfect" time would obviously vary a lot per child!!
I applaud you for researching and following your head and heart as a mom, rather than popular or conventional wisdom. Your children are So Blessed to have you as a Mom! But, I already knew that! :)
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