Eleanor's birth story

I would write up some disclaimer about how you shouldn't proceed if you aren't interested in birth details, but I think the title is warning enough. It's really a very clean story (albeit long); after all, she was born in the water. I am going to write out the long version, because about 5 people care, and this isn't really about numbers:  I'm debriefing here. If you want the short version (Dad), here it is: I labored through the night, mostly by myself, had the baby in the water, all is well. Back in the day when I lived away from home but wrote letters (pre-internet!), I would highlight the main points for my dad, and then include all the details for my Mom.

I think I posted at 37 weeks, about how I was having lots of contractions. Irregular, but sometimes for 5-6 hours periods. Warren went out of town for a week when I was 35 weeks, and I called him at 2am to tell him I'd had contractions every 8 minutes or so for several hours. I wasn't really sure what he was going to do from his hotel room in the wee hours of the morning, but it seemed like someone should know. I was already using Rx strength progesterone cream, so he suggested I increase the dose, and that caused the contractions to subside. At 37 weeks the plan was to taper off the progesterone (since I could safely/legally have a homebirth after 37 weeks) and see what happened. So from Monday- Thursday I was easing off...having increasing contractions, and nights of being up, followed by mornings of little action. This is almost the exact pattern I followed with Thomas, only I had all this at 35-36 weeks, and had him right at 37 weeks. So I wasn't surprised with the contractions, but let me tell you, it gets old fast. And your friends are thinking, "What's all the hurry? You are only 36 weeks??" When I wrote and told one of my friends that I had a 14 hour labor, she wrote back and said, "Congratulations on your 3 weeks and 14 hour labor!"

The Friday before Eleanor was born, I'd been up all night with contractions and had a ton of pressure and some trouble walking around, so we decided to go ahead and fill up the birth pool. The Aqua Doula, borrowed from my midwife, takes about 3 hours to fill with hot water (emptying the hot water heater multiple times, boiling water, etc.) but then it stays hot and clean for 72 hours with a cover. Warren stayed home from work that morning to fill the tub, just in case. I watched and waited, and nothing happened all day (you'll see this is the persistent theme).

On Saturday, I decided to take the day off from waiting for the baby. I ran errands, and just mentally released myself from needing to have the baby (yes, I was playing crazy mind games). It was good for me, and it helped my attitude. Sunday was also a fairly normal day, with a nice Sunday lunch, a long nap, and then we had our big snow. At that point, it would have been tough for the midwife to get here with all the heavily falling snow, so I was content to let Eleanor stay safe inside a little longer. But then I was up all Sunday night with fairly consistent contractions. I fell asleep a little after 3am, and got up 7am hoping things would pick back up if I would only get moving. It was President's Day, and Warren already had the day off. What a perfect day to have the baby! And we were reaching the 72-hour mark for the tub, so we really needed to have that baby.

my attempt to get a picture of the kids in the snow while standing at the window

But nothing happened when I got up. Except that I cried fairly easily from the lack of sleep. Around 10am Warren said, "So, how are you feeling? I thought I should just check before I drain the tub." Tears streamed down my face and he said, "Okay, you don't want to talk about it." I went back to bed while he drained the who knows how many gallons of water and gave it to the chickens. I woke up at 1:30pm, resolved to have a better attitude and be more submissive to whatever God had planned for the day. Meanwhile, Warren had laid aside all of his day-off work plans and made me an omelet, some decaf coffee, and decided we would play games. If you know Warren, he is a hard-working man who rarely relaxes, but when he does, games are not usually on the top of his list. He knows I love them, so we played rummy for an hour or two (I won...and I threatened him with his life if he let me win because that does NOT make me happy). Then we loaded the kids in the car and ran errands, including the fabric store so I could recover an ottoman- I was inspired after Jonesey made her chairs so crisp and cheery. Then we took a long walk on a snow-covered trail, in the refreshing 42 degree air. It was good for all of us to get outside, and we haven't taken a walk together in a very long time.

The night was uneventful and I woke up the next morning with purpose and a much better attitude. I would get all the laundry washed (I've been living in a "just in case" state for weeks now!) and sew. The kids each had their sewing projects going and I made the ottoman slipcover, and some comfrey infused flannel ice pack pads for after the birth- an idea I got after reading this post at Keeper of the Home. I took a short nap-something my husband was fairly insistent on during the last few weeks- and continued to have much stronger infrequent contractions. But sometimes I couldn't walk because of them. I was jaded by this point, so they were easy to ignore. Go figure...as soon as the real thing comes along I am poised to ignore it.

By dinnertime, my contractions were about every 6 minutes apart for 2 hours or more. I mentioned it around 8pm to my poor, confused husband. I told him I was going to take a bath and see if things went away. They did calm down, and by 9pm they were only every 10 minutes apart, but still very strong, and lasting about 90 seconds. I sat in bed and read for about 2 hours, keeping my eye on the clock. At 11pm I told Warren we needed to go downstairs and finish all the laundry. What a patient man. He and I cleaned the toys up in the basement, folded all the laundry, and I noticed that when I was moving around the contractions got closer together. But as soon as I sat or lied down, they were 10 minutes apart. We texted our midwife and let her know we were going to bed and would call when the contractions were 5 minutes apart. She texted back that she was praying for a gentle birth and labor for us, and would be on call. Warren and I decided we would just do our best to wait until morning, and see what happened.

At 12:30am, Warren got up and decided to fill the tub again, thinking it might put me at ease. We had a little midnight snack, and he was up for several hours while I went back to bed. It was too painful to lie down, so I built myself a little throne of pillows, put my Hidden in my Heart scripture lullaby cd on repeat, and tried to sleep in between contractions, which were still only every 10 minutes apart. Here are two samples of that wonderful cd- I want to buy one for every pregnant mama I know! (The cd has no talking on it...not sure what that is in the clip.)

     

And I listened to that music for about 5 hours! Warren slept through about 3 hours of it, and I had immensely strong contractions that I worked hard to relax through and keep myself calm. I got up many times to go to the bathroom, and every time I did I had contractions very close together, so I knew that as soon as I decided to get up for good, things would get rolling. But I was trying to hold out as long as possible so we could let the kids get up at a normal time and then ship them off to their cousin's house. We have a short log of contractions from after we got up, and it says, "5:56, 6:00, 6:03, 6:07, etc." and it was at that point Warren decided to call the midwife. I heard her saying, "So, should I wait a few hours?" and I said, "Tell her I want her to come right now!" All I could think about was getting the kids out of the house. Warren ushered them downstairs to watch a movie, and when they left at 7:30am I didn't even care about saying goodbye. I was a little worried at that point, because I knew that checking out meant I was in serious labor, and 1) the midwife wasn't there yet, and 2) I was worried I was only 2 cm per my usual long laboring with no dialating until the end- and I was trying to prep myself mentally for her to check me and let me know I would be in this for the long haul. I usually labor from midnight through the night and have my babies in the afternoon/evening. But I started earlier this time. Thomas' labor was 26 hours long, so I was gearing up for another long one.

When my midwife finally arrived, she checked me and said, "You are definitely dialating..." and I was holding my breath. She said, "You're about 7-8cm...you are in transition." And I cried. I've never heard those words before! Then I worried I would be in transition until evening (irrational labor thoughts). She let me get right in the tub at that point, and that hot water was AMAZING. It made everything so manageable, and even though it was painful, my near-constant contractions were not overwhelming. The water was very warm, and very deep, and for me, it made all the difference in the world. When I did get a break, I was able to talk again, direct my friend to find the camera, and then of course the battery charger because the batteries were dying. It didn't feel like I was in transition.

Being on my hands and knees helped Eleanor get into a good position quickly. I could not tolerate being on all fours out of the water, but in the tub it wasn't really as painful.

I got out to go to the bathroom at one point, and my whole goal was not to have that baby in the toilet. But I couldn't walk back to the tub by myself without some involuntary pushing groans, so that alerted everyone that it was time. I did make it back to the tub, and it was at that point I was declared ready to have a baby, except my water had not yet broken. She broke my water, and after several more contractions and that not-so-lovely few minutes of pushing, Eleanor was born. The only hard part (besides pushing, which just goes against every natural inclination to make yourself do something that hurts so bad!) was that her heart rate got a little too fast due to the warm water, so I had to stand up and cool off for a minute or so during my pushing. But that was a small inconvenience.

Love the red shoulder pads. The downside of the tub is that it is easy to get overheated...iced washcloths were a great solution, and Warren used them to keep me much more comfortable this time around.

It all seemed surreal that it could be over so fast. I was only in the tub for an hour and a half, and there was never a point when I thought, "I can't do this anymore." My kids had only been gone for two hours- how could I possibly be finished?? The Scripture music was on while I was in the tub, and I really think that helped keep my mind preoccupied. By the time I was out of the tub and sitting on the bed, I was a little tired of that same cd, but the song, "Bless the Lord, oh, my soul!" was playing, and it was just perfect. This sounds very crunchy, but I had made some kombucha popsicles, so I had one of those, followed by some carrot/apple/spinach juice Warren made me to help me regain my energy back (I love carrot juice...I know, it's weird.) Now I know that carrot juice= orange spit up.

In the first hour...calm and sweet

We are so thankful the Lord has allowed us to have such relatively easy births, all at home, and all in the water. Each time we realize there is a chance that things will not work out, and God may have different plans for us. We always make sure we know exactly what hospital entrance to use, just in case we need to get there fast, and we truly do try to balance our expectations so that it's not a disappointment if we end up in the hospital. It's there if we need it, and if we need it, we are thankful for that option and the ability to get there quickly. For a good comparison of hospital, birthing center, and home birth settings, see this article, also at Keeper of the Home. The author has chosen a hospital birth setting, but it's a very informative article. One of the best things she says is in her "reasons not to have a homebirth," and that is if you or your husband are fearful, homebirth is not for you. Fear is a powerful emotion, and if you or your husband are not comfortable at home, you will most-likely not have a good homebirth experience. There are other pros and cons listed, and all of them should be considered before choosing homebirth. For our family, we are delighted to have our babies here, get right back in our own cozy beds, and spend the first hours and days by ourselves with no interruptions.

The kids watching our midwife weigh the baby...now, and back then:

My one question, in hindsight, is this: Have any of you ever experienced that labor is easier when your water remains intact? A friend suggested this may be the case, but I would love to hear from others. I know that my contractions usually pick up when my water breaks (or is broken), but I haven't read or heard anything about pain levels. Any experience or insight?

So, Mom (since you are the only one left at this point), hope you've enjoyed getting every little detail. Maybe now I can sleep. Except that I have a newborn, so maybe not.