Work

We are still very young parents, so I don't pretend that we have even 1% of this shepherding thing figured out. Before I had children I remember reading about teaching your kids to work, and thinking, how do I get children who love to work? Doesn't that run against every human instinct? Much of what I read was common sense, all of it required daily sacrifice on the part of the parents, and much prayer.

"Mowing" with Daddy

I try to think about whether I am rushing through my own work in a hurried way so I can get to the "fun stuff," or do I look at my work as part of what God has given me to do each day, and approach it with delight? I am training my childrens' attitude toward work no matter how I look at it...they will catch (and mimic) whatever I model for them.

You have to give him points for creativity!

Other ideas from the article: Include them in every chore you possibly can. Yes, it takes longer. No, it doesn't get done perfectly. Yes, it will cut in to your free time. But they love being responsible for some aspect of their little world. Some of the chores my almost 4 year old helps with include sorting laundry, folding small square items as well as his own clothes, dusting, cooking assistant (he can brown meat with my supervision and WH is determined to teach them to grind the coffee beans and make coffee...Saturday morning coffee in bed anyone?), unloading the dishwasher (he can't reach the high things but he puts dishes on the counter), sorting toys, cleaning out the car, etc.

Coop's days in the kitchen started early

WH has made a point of taking Coop everywhere he can when an errand needs to be run, or a task completed. This gives them time together and is slowly teaching him that work doesn't have to be a bore, especially if you are doing it with someone you love. Life is mostly work, so finding joy in it early is a valuable thing to teach your kids. (Of course, this may be a lot more of a struggle when he's 13...I'm also not pretending to be in a hard stage when it comes to child training!)

Planting seeds for the garden

Sweet A just turned 2 and her attention span isn't quite as long, but she unloads silverware (a smart mom told me to put the silverware in a lower drawer so it would be easier for the kids to reach), is learning to sort clothes into lights and darks, and is my #1 helper putting away clothes. I can pretty much keep her busy while I fold by saying, "Now can you go put these dishtowels away." She just wants to be with us, so we try to give her little tasks.

Making applesauce

The other benefit of having your children work with you is that they are with you a good part of the day. This gives you more opportunity to instruct them and less time for them to strike up an argument or get into trouble. Before Coop was even a year old my Mom advised me to keep him close during the early years. His mind was always running and I had the opportunity to direct that early on, or leave him to himself and then we would both pay the consequences!

Helping Daddy chop wood (always made me a little nervous)

The last thing I remember from that article was that when the kids do get older, it should be the normal mode for everyone to be working, and then when the work is done, for everyone to be relaxing, playing, etc. There are times when Mom needs to be doing one thing while kids work (like nursing, or overseeing something only a mother can do) but that is her work for the moment. If the kids feel like little slaves, then of course their attitudes will reflect that. We want willingness from the heart; I want my kids to jump in and help at church events or family gatherings and not be the ones that stand around watching everyone else work. Of course, this means I also need to be modeling that for them and I find myself preferring laziness all too often. So we're still working on diligence around here, but we press on with faith.

Milestones

This is Baby T at 6 months. He is a week away from being 7 months old, but that's how it goes when you are the third baby. He is still full of smiles, a great sleeper, and when I pick him up he burrows his head in my shoulder, like he's hunkering down for a long, cozy stay. He is almost crawling and is pretty content to play on the floor if he's with one of his siblings. The boy also has hair: he's had three haircuts already! His other 6-month accomplishment is that he just started sucking his thumb. All three suck their thumbs/fingers but never started this late. I'm all for thumb suckers (although I know there is much debate on this).

His little will is also starting to emerge- arching his back to get out of my arms or let me know he's done nursing and piercing screaming if he is tired of playing are two of his favorite ways of communicating displeasure. It starts young.

Right now we are beginning what we call "church training," where we practice sitting quietly for a set amount of time in order to one day sit as a family in church. My expectations for him are very different from what I expect from Sweet A, who is also still practicing. :) As a new 2 year-old, she has to sit completely quiet, but is allowed to have a small toy. Baby T just needs to be quiet, and if he is too wiggly (as in, major flailing) I make him lay his head down on my chest (another advantage to thumb-sucking...built in comfort). I expect we will be working on this until after his first birthday, but the goal is to be generally ready for church by about 14 months. With the other two we tried to practice several times a week so that when Sunday rolled around it would be a natural thing for them to sit through a church service. It's doesn't seem very reasonable to expect a small child to sit that long once a week when they never have to do it at other times (it also seems like a great way to condition them to despise church). I am convinced that learning to sit quietly is a good discipline for children and maybe it will teach them to one day know how to sit and think real thoughts vs. always having to be entertained. Who knows- maybe they'll come up with the next life changing invention!

On the flip side, I am amazed at how much balance having multiple children brings. When Coop was a baby it seems like we expected so much of him. Every stage was new and exciting and we were eager for him to get to the next thing. He seemed so smart and capable and we just loved it all, as new parents should! It seemed so babyish to dress him in anything less than little khakis and a button down for church- even when he was 9 months old. Now that we have bigger children in contrast to Baby T, we are aware of- and enjoying more- his babyness. It doesn't bother us as much when he cries...we don't expect him to get over it but we pick him up (not all the time, but a lot). :) I love putting him in boyish smocked outfits for church. I don't even mind waking him up for a 10pm feeding- something I resented and tried to get rid of as soon as possible with Coop. Now I am just happy to have a few minutes of one-on-one time with the baby.

So as with all things, we are trying to maintain a delicate balance of enjoying these children for their childishness, and training them to be self-controlled and mature. And most of all, to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind.