Family Goals

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

I looked back through my 2009 list of goals for the kids and laughed when I read "transition to a big potty" and "learn to sleep without duck/thumbsucking." It's easy to forget that those things actually took work and purposefulness on our part. It feels like they just happened, and was it really only a year and a half ago?


We all have goals for ourselves and our families, whether or not we write them down (even you, Elisa). What are your goals for your children? I have memories of my mom and dad having planning sessions to create yearly goals for all of us. I'm thankful for their example; I always thought that's what parents were supposed to do. Several years ago I started my goal setting in a journal and continue to add to it every year, sometimes refining those goals mid-year. Our anniversary is in June so some years we use that quiet time away to include a conversation about our goals. I divide our goals into three categories:

1. Spiritual
2. Mental
3. Physical

The kid's lists are fairly predictable, according to age. Thomas' goals are almost identical to Adeline's at this age, so the process doesn't take long. I'm relishing these easy early years! We have character goals for them (e.g., honesty in speech, loving and affectionate to younger sister, less whining/more gratefulness), which reminds me not to harp on them about everything all the time, but to keep those few items at the top of the list.

I seem to have similar items on my list every year; maybe I should have more patience with my kids when it seems like they still struggle with the same old problems. In addition to these goals, which are more about character and growth, I also have a project list. I don't want to give the wrong impression- I have so much I'd love to get done this year. My front door is begging to be painted. The basement windows need curtains. I'd like to research vegetable gardening and play more of a responsible role of maintaining our garden. The older two kids keep reminding me that Thomas only has one picture in his First Year scrapbook.

I genuinely hope I accomplish some projects in the next twelve months, but I don't want to achieve it at the expense of faithfully plowing away at those few main things...the true goals, not just the extra projects. The projects are not the main things; that's hard for a project-oriented person like me. It's easy to want to check off the tangible items because we can all see those things (and I really want to get rid of the light wood front door). The heart disciplines are easier to ignore, and usually harder to faithfully maintain. I have a handful of essentials, not counting meal prep and cleaning bathrooms...more on that another time:

• private worship and prayer
• school with the kids and reading aloud
• exercise
• reading  (personal reading does not come easily- I'd rather be moving and doing)
• weekly one-on-one time with each child
• daily rest and get to bed early
• a tangible way of serving Warren (a note, an encouraging call, a purposeful kiss, etc.)

There are a few others, but notice blogging isn't on that list. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'm probably exercising (the one thing that is hardest to check off my list). I don't plan on being Nazi Mommy about our schedule- interruptions come, visitors (angels unaware) come, illness comes. We will still need to have pajama/movie days every so often. But I really desire these things to become routine- so much a part of my life that it feels like something is missing if they are neglected. When that happens I'll look forward to tackling some new discipline (or perhaps a painting project).

And then, there's the thought that I need to do all this with love. How's that for a small challenge?

What are your essentials?