I've finally done it. After months of saying, "I think I should get off Facebook, what do you think honey?" to my husband, I am out. The fact that I pondered so long and hard over such an insignificant choice made me wonder if it was playing too large a role in my life. Funny thing is, I RARELY post anything on facebook (which probably makes me the worst kind of user). I comment on a lot, but I don't update my status or post pictures, so I'm hardly an addict. And just to be clear- the problem is not necessarily Facebook, it's me, so I'm not throwing any stones here. I'd already limited my updates to only family and church friends- and I do love knowing what's going on with my aunts and uncles and cousins and extended church family.
I've been feeling the need to cut back on all things computer related for a while, just because I see it drawing my heart away from my children. I switched to a Friday afternoon blog-reading session vs. the daily keeping up with all my peeps (and pretend peeps). The way our computer is positioned in the living room means my back is turned to the kids, but for me, it signifies more than just having my eyes on a screen vs. them. (And no, I don't think I need to be with them all the time or constantly playing with them.) I thought about just rearranging the computer area, but I don't think this really solves my problem.
I want my love and my heart to enjoy being with my children, interested in knowing them and who these little people are growing up to be, and not my hundreds of acquaintances. I want to write them little encouraging notes, and keep up with their status' throughout the day, because they are ever-changing. One day soon they will be teenagers, and I need to know- really KNOW and study- these crazy people who live with me. Sometimes I look at my daughter and think, "You look just like me, and yet we are NOTHING alike and I don't understand half of why you do and say the things you do." :)
I already knew what I wanted to do, but the following article articulated it better than I have in the past, both to my husband and to myself. I don't want my kids to expect to find me on the computer if no where else, and I don't want to have to say that my last home video of my daughter has me in the background on the computer (and that could be me, and a lot of us, truth be told).
Why I'm Taking a Break from Facebook
Facebook is a great tool, and I will have to compensate for not having it at my disposable by making a few more phone calls, emailing friends a little more often, and making a concerted effort to know what's going on with my church family. I might have to spend a little more time with those chubby babies at church instead of pouring over their pictures on Facebook. But I think I'm okay with the trade-off.
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